Solomon Asch conducted research in the 1950s on how far would social pressure from a majority group affect a person to conform even when the answer was not correct. He demonstrated when the majority are in agreement the (unknown) participant went along with the group, even when they were wrong. Why do we fall into peer pressure?
We were in Barcelona, Spain for our company meeting. I was always considered the black sheep of our team. I got along with everyone but after every meeting, I would return to my hotel room. My teammates and manager would always get together after each meeting to go out to a bar to have drinks. I am married and the majority were single. Out of respect for my marriage, I wouldn’t participate in the bar scene gathering. This time my colleagues insisted I joined them after our meeting for dinner and drinks. They knew I didn’t care for our manager’s dictator attitude. I reminded them her need to constantly control our every move while we were on the clock and I refused to tolerate it on my time off. They swore she wouldn’t be part of our outing and begged I joined them. I agreed as long as she didn’t join us.
We all arranged to meet in the lobby of our hotel to head out for dinner. I am with the majority of the team as we are waiting for two colleagues. The elevator doors open and there are my two colleagues with our manager! I am frustrated. One colleague walked directly to me and stated she found out about our plans and invited herself. I told everyone I no longer wanted to participate. The remaining colleagues were surprised as well but insisted I join them and our manager would not dictate our night.
We had two separate taxis to drive us to a restaurant a colleague recommended. We arrive at a beautiful restaurant and made ourselves comfortable to begin reviewing the menu. Suddenly, our manager decides this isn’t what she wanted and demanded we all leave to an authentic Spanish restaurant. I looked at my colleagues with a motherly stern look of “You’re all going to get it!” One pulled me aside and apologized profusely stating the team really wanted me to join them without her. We found ourselves marching around for over two miles looking for taxis. The night ultimately became her night once again! She was giving orders I translate to ensure we would get an authentic restaurant. She picked the restaurant. At dinner, we were all cordial but not as lively after her demeanor killed it.
Immediately after dinner was over we all returned to the hotel. I received apologies from everyone for not listening to me that she would even dictate our evening. My teammates wanted to make it up to me. As soon as our manager headed up to her room they took me to the restaurant’s club. We enjoyed each other’s company for the remainder of the night. Her behavior only validated to my teammates her need for control and my low tolerance for it. “I think the reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself.” ― Rita Mae Brown
LifesWeeds 